I open my dictionary to a random page. My finger lands on a random word. I post whatever I want, as long as it includes that word … no matter how random it may be.
Today’s random word: EVERYDAY
One time I went zip lining with one of my daughters. I wasn’t ready. I’m scared of heights. I’m all for outdoor adventure but I know heights are not for me so I don’t know what I was thinking. I tried to stay calm but inside I was dying. And the misery and fear of watching my precious daughter zip along was so scary (she was just fine and had fun by the way). Long story short, f**k zip lining. It ain’t for me.
Here are the details of my brutal and torturous living nightmare:
- 250 feet above the forest floor
- 2 1/2 hours
- 7 zip lines total
- 40 miles per hour top speed
- The longest zip line was 1500 Feet. I’m gonna go on ahead and repeat that. The longest zip line was 1500 feet.
- 2 slim ass swaying sky bridges to walk across
- A scary ass spiral staircase way up in the trees that the guide referred to as ‘majestic’ (which pissed me off, because I felt like it should have been called ‘Scary Ass Spiral Staircase’…)
- 45 foot rappel to get back down to the forest floor at the end
Yes, it was nestled in the California Coastal Redwood forest and it was unbelievably beautiful!!!!! But …
We were *above* those tall ass beautiful trees, do you hear me?!
I’d rather get my fingernails pulled out one by one and any body hair I have slowly plucked out one by one with a dull tweezer. I’d rather see my horrible ex-boss-from-hell and have to smile and hug her idiotic self EVERYDAY for the rest of my life. In summary, f*ck zip lining. It ain’t for me.
Posted August 24, 2018