I open my dictionary to a random page. My finger lands on a random word. I post whatever I want, as long as it includes that word … no matter how random it may be.
Today’s random word: EVERYDAY
One time I went zip lining with one of my daughters. I wasn’t ready. I’m scared of heights. I’m all for outdoor adventure but I know heights are not for me so I don’t know what I was thinking. I tried to stay calm but inside I was dying. And the misery and fear of watching my precious daughter zip along was so scary (she was just fine and had fun by the way). Long story short, f**k zip lining. It ain’t for me.
Here are the details of my brutal and torturous living nightmare:
- 250 feet above the forest floor
- 2 1/2 hours
- 7 zip lines total
- 40 miles per hour top speed
- The longest zip line was 1500 Feet. I’m gonna go on ahead and repeat that. The longest zip line was 1500 feet.
- 2 slim ass swaying sky bridges to walk across
- A scary ass spiral staircase way up in the trees that the guide referred to as ‘majestic’ (which pissed me off, because I felt like it should have been called ‘Scary Ass Spiral Staircase’…)
- 45 foot rappel to get back down to the forest floor at the end
God Damnit!
Yes, it was nestled in the California Coastal Redwood forest and it was unbelievably beautiful!!!!! But …
We were *above* those tall ass beautiful trees, do you hear me?!
I’d rather get my fingernails pulled out one by one and any body hair I have slowly plucked out one by one with a dull tweezer. I’d rather see my horrible ex-boss-from-hell and have to smile and hug her EVERYDAY for the rest of my life. In summary, f*ck zip lining. It ain’t for me.
Posted August 24, 2018
PAPAYA DARLING 